True

 

“My feelings were honest

My feelings were  true

My feelings were heartfelt

I  did love you

 

I thought you were sexy

I thought you were fit

I watched your bum jiggle

I thought you looked sick

 

I swam in you laughter

I drowned in your smile

Your skin is so silky

To touch all the while

 

Your brain is amazing

You’re funny and smart

Your voice is like chocolate

Smooth, rich and dark

Nibbling your nipple

Was a bit of a lark

 

Your legs are long

Your muscles strong

You want to know

What went wrong?

 

You made me happy

You made me gay

I wanted to lay

In your arms all day

 

I wanted to sail

In your deep recesses

I wanted to fondle

Your silky long tresses

 

I wanted to hold you

To keep you safe

To enfold you

In my strong embrace

 

But my head was a mess

Full of past stress

As hard as I tried, I could not dispel

my growing distress

 

(so here I must tell

What you knew so well)

The dreams from the past

Of another girl

 

She held my heart

In an iron grip

Which as hard as I tried

I could not rip

The thought of her lips

Made my loins  flip

 

She haunted my dreams

With her cold longing smile

We had been happy

For a little while

The guilt trips

The anger

The anguish

Soon followed

And though I knew

There was no tomorrow

I hoped and prayed

And wished she’d stay

I even promised not to stray

 

For years this was my daily diet

Until one day I decided to riot

I phoned her up

And said goodbye

But that was not it by a long mile

 

Thoughts of her stayed in my head

Made me wish that I was dead

Then one cold day you came along

You were sad

I knew  I could be strong

And help you write

A happier song

 

You brought sunshine

To my days

No longer shrouded

In thick black haze

The months went by

And we grew fonder

Until one day I could wait no longer

 

You set me free

Now I could see

What true love

Could really be

 

But there

Deep inside of me

The ghost of her refused to flee

It became her only goal

To haul me back

To burn my soul

 

 

I tried, my love

I tried to banish,

But thoughts of her

Just would not vanish

She was harsh

She was cruel

I had broken

All her rules

This love for her

I could not move

Out of it’s long, deep, icy groove

 

So came the horrid fateful day

When I pushed your love away

Since then, my love

I have been fickle

Got myself into a pickle

I drink all day,

I drink all night

I am a fool

I’m always tight

 

My eyes are red

Hands are shaking

And oh, my love

My heart is breaking

My soul feels like it is on fire

My heart’s become a funeral pyre

 

I cannot have you in my life

You must go

My love,

goodbye,

good night

 

Do not text me

Do not call

Contact with you

Makes me feel like a fool

Your caring fills me full of shame

I only have myself to blame

 

I did not set out to deceive you

So my love,

I must  now leave you”

 

30/7/2016

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2 thoughts on “True

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